Way to be…REAL…Mom!

Being a mom – there’s nothing like it. Our kids bring out the very best in us, and the very worst in us…sometimes several times a day! There’s a reason they say parenting is the hardest job in the world – it IS! Nothing shines a mirror on our own shortcomings like our children can (and do).

In today’s digital age, we as a society focus on broadcasting the awesome, the cute, the absolutely wonderful! {Hello, Facebook feed, aka highlight reel of our lives.} We edit ourselves so our lives appear perfect, brushing the hard stuff under the rug, not wanting someone to think less of us because of our struggles or insecurities, like the times we doubt our parenting tactics; or when “mom-guilt” rears it’s ugly head, as we start thinking about all the things we “should” be doing, yet aren’t; and, probably hardest of all, the shame…the shame we feel because “we lost it” with our child when we were tired/angry/running late/(you can fill in the blank, I’m sure), and AAAAAGH, we yelled/screamed/freaked out at the very person(s) we are supposed to love and protect more than anything in this world. {Does your heart sink in reading that too? Because you know that feeling all too well?}

image by Brené Brown

If we have the courage to share our struggles, many times our confidantes jump straight to advice and tips on how to “fix” it, instead of giving us the reassurances we’re really seeking. And then we feel like it’s just “me” who is failing to measure up, while others have it together and figured out. The truth is, we sell ourselves far too short, because we ALL have difficult moments, and times we’d like a do-over. Each and every one of us is perfectly imperfect.  It’s a part of this life, a part of our human experience. It’s meant to be this way.

WayToBeMom.com is a space for moms to keep it real, and shine a light on the ups and downs of our individual parenting journeys. Things happen, good and bad. It’s time for us to come together and honor the truth of our experiences, so we can see firsthand that there are other moms (maaaaaaaaaaaany other moms, in fact) facing similar burdens, to the point that it becomes crystal clear that our “individual” challenges and struggles are completely normal. With tremendous respect to parenting advice sites and forums, the emphasis of our mommy forum is not a how-to guide in overcoming a challenge by trying x, y, or z. Instead, our MomTruths page is a space for authenticity, a safe haven for moms to say “Here’s where I am, and what I’m living today” and for other moms to chime in with their own stories of “I’ve been there too, and I know exactly how you feel, down to your heart racing in your throat! In fact, I could have written your story, they’re so much alike.” Through this process, the idealized (unrealistic) image of what parenting is “supposed” to look like will start to crumble – and we can start forgiving ourselves for our imperfections, and re-shift our focus on the gifts we are already bringing to our families. The results? We’re kinder, and more compassionate to ourselves as moms. We can let go, be true to ourselves, faults and all, and love ourselves anyway. What a way to be!

Our blog features the work of a variety of soul-full, inspiring women, and the overriding theme is this: “BE-ing” is more important than “DO-ing,” despite the fact that our culture tells us over and over again that the opposite is true. Our hope is that each and every post reminds our readers that the essence of who you are, and what you bring with your mere presence, is your very best gift to your children, to your partner… to the world, even. Doing something (or not doing something) doesn’t make you worthy. You already are! If you take a minute to see yourself through your child’s loving eyes, you’ll feel with all of your being that this is true. And so it is!

  • Maximilian
    January 10, 2015

    I blog quite often and I seriously thank you for your information. This article has really peaked my interest.
    I am going to bookmark your blog and keep checking for new information about once a week.

    I subscribed to your RSS feed too.

  • Lindsay
    October 6, 2014

    This is so great. Straight from your heart and right into mine. We try sooooooooooooooooooooo hard as parents to be “everything” to our kids. To give them better/more/everything it’s SO MUCH PRESSURE but as you allude to – pressure for no reason at all. Pressure we put on ourselves. Becoming a mother can bring out the perfectionist in all of us, and AMEN to being more honest about not JUST our joy – but also our shortcomings.

  • Edna
    August 12, 2014

    I LOVE your blog, Janna! Thanks so much for inviting me. I feel that you are talking to me and I am not alone .That’s the way to be mom.
    I remember you always say to Van, ” We all have moments”
    It is a relief for me too — that I am normal (as a mom) :))
    Can’t wait for the next writing…! And thanks for reminding me again to take a minute to see my child’s loving eyes.. i feel it.

    • Janna
      August 13, 2014

      Thank you so much Edna! I feel like YOU, my dear, are the shining example of mamahood, and what I aspire to be for Van. So hearing that YOU have your moments too (even though you’ve told me before that you are not perfect), wow, it makes me feel better for the times when I “lose my crap” (which I is how I edit it down for Van’s ears) and really wish I could have a “do-over.” Which is exactly what this site is about! :) Thanks for allowing me to get a firsthand preview of what’s to come for (hopefully) lots of other moms, as we journey through this together.

  • Angie
    August 12, 2014

    Yay Janna!!!!!!! So proud of you!!!

    • Janna
      August 12, 2014

      Thank you, love! :)

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